Monday, March 31, 2008

The Knife - We Share Our Mother's Health (Ratatat Remix)

i like this

Either I Have Too Much Time or I Am an Evil Genius



yup, i did it

UPDATE: i just opened up an old xbox controller and got MUCH bigger motors to bigger bots will be coming

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The Most Amazing Thing I Have Ever Seen II

I guess i am into robots right now.


I am totally making one when i get back to NY. You should too, and than we can race.
Mine is going to win.

Friday, March 21, 2008

eb is a dick


so is his stupid brother

The Day Of A Legend, God And Brother!!!





Today is my older brothers birthday. He is my best friend and other half. He rocks, rolls, and parties harder than any mother fucker I know!

This is just a birthday shot out from MFGaT to my brother and heterosexual life mate.

We love you E.B.

Happy Birthday!!!!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

ACT A FOOL!!!!

I'm sure this is an old video that many different people are up on. But my boy Alex showed this to me the other night and its so fucking ill. Tracy Morgan is certified bananas, and he makes doing drugs cool. This is the definition of coming out of your face!!!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

ST PATRICKS DAY

SO FOR ALL YOU FELLOW DRUNKS OUT THERE.. ST PATTYS DAY IS A DAY TO LET LOOSE DRINK JAMIESON GO HOME WITH ONE OF YOUR GRANDPAS IRSIH FRIENDS. KISS SOME SKANK IN A LEPRECHAN BAR, LISTEN TO HOUSE OF PAIN OVER AND OVER WITH A GUINESS MUSTAUCHE YOU KNOW THE USUAL. BUT IF YOU ARE LIKE ME YOU PREFER ASIANS BETTER THEN THE IRISH SO I DECIDED TO CHANGE THE PACE OF ST PATTYS AND SPEND THE BETTER PART OF THE EVENING IN A PRIVATE KAROKE ROOM WITH FRIENDS. I WOULD LOVE TO TELL YOU THE EXACT LOCATION BUT I AM NOT. I WOULD LOVE TO GIVE NAMES BUT I WONT. LETS JUST SAY THIS PLACE IS INCREDIBLE PRIVATE NICE ROOMS, GOOD DIET COKE, SAKE FOR ALL YOU BOOZE HOUNDS A SELECTION OF SONGS THAT BROUGHT DOWN THE HOUSE. I CANT PIN POINT WHAT MOMENT WAS THE BEST WAS IT WHEN I WAS IN THE ROOM WITH ONE OTHER PERSON EATING POPCORN A MELLOW FLOW OF SONGS OR WHEN MY BFF TORE DOWN THE DOOR AND JOINED THE SING ALONG OR WHEN MY OTHER BFF CAME THRU AND THE FOURSOME WAS COMPLETE WITH JUMPING YELLING SINGING HUGGING CARESSING LOVING CRYING. THE NITE CONTINUED TO SHINE WHEN MY BROTHER WANDERED IN WITH A VOICE LIKE AN ANGEL WE ARE UP TO 5 NOW. THEN THE WONDERFUL YOU KNOW WHO ARRIVED WITH THE NEEDED ENERGY THE DRUNKS LACKED. IT WAS UP TO 6 NOW. I DIDNT STOP SINGING THE WHOLE FIVE HOURS. I COULDNT LET GO OF THE MIC. I FELT EVERYTHING.
ENTER ASIAN WORKER
KNOCK ON DOOR
ASIAN WORKER: ESCUSE ME MA'AM YOU BE HERE 5 HOUAR YOU GO SOON?
RAMONA: HOW MUCH IS THE BILL 5 HOURS ARE YOU SURE
ASIAN WORKER: THREE HUNDRED DOLLA
RAMONA CLOSES DOOR AND LAUGHS OUT LOUD JOINS INTO GOD ONLY KNOWS.

DEAR DIARY
YESTERDAY MARCH 18 I SPENT 180 MINUTES AT YOU KNOW WHERE. I LOVE IT THERE AND I DONT SEE MYSELF FINDING ANYTHING BETTER IN THE NEAR FUTURE!
LOVE ALWASY

Bozona Ryder



I did a photo shoot last week with one of our fellow MFGaT contributors. Here is one of my favorite shot of Romi AKA CUTEATTACK.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Uranium-235 Thorlos

While watching episode seven of this season's The Wire - beholding Clay Davis' best act soliloquy abt. furnishing "puff jackets for dem that got children in need" --minds immediately shift to new age Rhodium Fronts (shit is more accessible w/ Gold price @ $1,000/troy oz.).



With Gold Fronts (and thorlo sock isotopes) on the mental lentil, thoughts of NY's most fabled municipal insitution then arise. When we think of the NYCHA, we think of dudes donning pythons round the neck - GUESS? down to the ankle cut wigwams. So if I'm being nostalgic, I meant to be. As disc0 rave-infused madness envelopes all the music cognescenti from Woodlawn to New Lots (Kid Cudi is kinda that dude though), I wanna remember a quickly-forgotten late 90s act: The Dead. Pure boom-bap. Plaza to Baisley Park - Edenwald to Sumner - Wyckoff Garden to Taft. Only available on vinyl @ Rock&Soul, circa '97. I challenge the most dusty fingered excavater to locate a copy. The public housing anthem has never been more resonant. Ayres was kind enough to post an mpfree via The Hollerboard.

http://www.divshare.com/download/3732762-99e

Also a link to the Rub's History lesson for the historians, airing on Broolyn Radio.

http://www.itstherub.com/radio.htm

The Most Amazing Thing I Have Ever Seen

Have you ever seen a white guy dancing robot?




Now you have!


According to Gizmodo this is the Adam Frucci White Guy Dance Robot. No word on availablity. If there is only one in the world I am going to steal it and bring it with me everywhere i go.

Actual Names of Porn on Demand in My Hotel Room

Excessive Sex
Diary of a Dirty Blonde
Lots of Filthy Sex
My Friend's Hot Mom
Ugly Gals Need Loving Too (billed as BIZARRE, really considering checking this out)
Orgy (EURO SEX)
Horny Girls of India
Fat Amateurs
Getting It In The End (gay, brilliant title)
Teeny Thais
TASTE IT DON'T WASTE IT
My Wife's a Dirty Slut

This is out of 67 available adult titles. Just two more, so close. Oh yeah and there are two that i am told are "instructional" films entitled "Expert Guide to Anal Sex" and "How To Perform Oral Sex On Her."

This is a very strange hotel.

nbw

Friday, March 14, 2008

New Porno

"A Guide to Recognizing Your Taints"

BAD SPELLING FROM A HORRIFIC SPELLER


I am just going to come out with it, because i'm am not ashamed. NO I'M NOT GAY,,,,I am a horrrrrrrible speller. And you know what I DON'T GIVE A FCUK!!!!! I know people will laugh at my words that are misspelled, have the wrong meaning, or just the plain embarrassing grammatical level of my vocabulary. BUTTT, I am very funny and I post very interesting things about sports, women, and white people. So to all of you that want to hate or laugh, you can kiss my hairy bean bag!!!

LOVE FROM ABOVE,

Famoso

I/O

IN: myfriendsgotatable.blogspot.com
OUT: "My friend's got a table."

What the French Toast?

Um, Mr. "love from above" you spelled Edamame wrong! GOD DAMN IT! how could you have been so cavalier?

If we are going to change the world it starts with your P's and Q's. We went over this in yesterdays (nude all-male) pep talk. I thought you were paying attention, but I guess we will have to go back to the Korean Sauna and do it all over again.

Now to try and restore some credibility to this blog, after it was washed away in a tsunami of indifference. Edamame is a preparation of immature soybeans in the pod commonly found in China and Japan. The pods are boiled in water together with condiments such as salt, and served whole.

This delightful little dish can be great for that casual alone time in your apartment when you are relaxing with a cucumber melon facial wrap and watching the WE channel. Right GUYS?

OR it can effectively be used to screen out trashy girls on first dates. Order a plate of edamame and see how she reacts. If she is a trashy skank (which may or may not be what you are looking for - depending on how much you hate your job) she may not know how to consume the edamame. It is critical you let her go first, because otherwise she can observe how you consume the strange bean and then follow suit as if she was a pro. NO NO SIR...we will not have any of that trickery. Now, she may try to swallow it whole and if she does you can safely assume your getting a BLOWJAY in the taxi on the way to the club where your friend's got a table (WHOAAA!!!! YOU SAW THAT NAME DROP!!! GOD DAMN IT I'M CLEVER). I was gonna write more, but I can't top that last line, so I'm just gonna stop here. UNTIL next time KIDDIES

And Also

Sean Avery can pop a wheelie on a unicycle.

Wake Up Call

I don't use an alarm clock because every morning at 6am Sean Avery punches me in the face.

SEAN AVERY WILL FIGHT YOUR MOMZ!!!



I know hockey to most assholes is boring, stupid, and for white people. Thats becasue most people are stupid, ignorant, and smelly! I know most hockey players don't drive bentlys or eat edemame with Tyra Banks, but it is the dopest and toughest sport out there.

That being said, I would like to put all you people on to a person I have probably the biggest man crush in the world on, and his name is SEAN AVERY, and he wears #16 and he plays for the New York Fucking Rangers (Go Blue!!!). I wanted to introduce him to you people, Becasue he will give you a reason every night to not watch Survivor or Wife Swap! He will show boys what a man is and girls what a hero is! He is the most bad ass white boy since Billy The Kid!



So now that you know this, here are some fun facts about sean avery...

1) Sean Avery is not a man, he is a machine or better yet a terminator.
2) Sean Avery plays every game with a shank in his left skate and a razor blade under his tounge.
3) Sean Avery impregnated Britney Spears from accross the country.
4) Sean Avery is the only player in NHL history to play the game with a gun on the bench.
5) It has been rumored that Sean Avery during penalty kills has offered to not play with a stick and just bring out a kitchen knife.
6) Sean Avery smokes weed and gets mad drunk (I have done this with him)
7) Sean Avery threw a hipster through the window at beatrice inn.
9) Sean Avery has never cried.
10) Sean Avery will fight your momz!



So know that you know all this enjoy the video and learn to appreciate the toughest mother fucker in New York sports since Anthony Mason.

PS. THIS VIDEO IS WHEN HE PLAYED IN LA. BUT IT GETS THE POINT ACCROSS.....


Love From Above,

Mr. Famous

ALL MY EX'S LIVE IN TEXAS -SXSW THREE BESTS!!




This weekend, in Austin Texas as most of you know, is one of this countries largest music festivals South by South West or SXSW (I love dropping acronyms, makes me feel important). If you are one of the many thousand of people I know who had the fucking means to get to Austin, than there are three bands you should definitely check out...
'Team Facelift'  'The High Class Elite'  and "Chief"
Two of the bands are NYC born and bread, and both share the same on stage shenanigans that will make your mother feel like the first time she got her back blown out. Chief is definitely the band you see when you're on your cool out, with amazing original music and beautiful harmonies, they are a band that will make you feel like kissing someone. 
Facelift is the epitome of "Dance Rap" something they have invented, and something they do well. They are 100% one of the most talented groups I know and they will be killing it on the Red Bull bus all weekend playing shows, doing drugs, and probably finger blasting your sister. If you can go see them anywhere be smart and do so!
The High Class Elite, are another NYC band that brings me back to the days of the New York Dolls and the glam rock era. Headed by my boy Franco V, this bands energy will surely get the crowd warmed up, and if you are standing by the front of the stage, BE CAREFUL! Franco is not shy to kiss a man, dive on your head, or kick over a table and spill 9 drinks on your dick (yes this did happen to me). With beautiful back up singers, and 4 of the coolest and talented motherfuckers I know backing him up, Franco V and The High Class Elite will surely make you smile.
Chief is a melodic foursome from Cali that will take you back to the times of CSNY, and make you appreciate the art of Rock n Roll. They are not as wild as the other bands, in fact most of there music is pretty slow paced, but when you hear it you will understand exactly what I am talking about.
So fuck you to everyone who got to go down there, i'm jealous, and wish I was there. But enjoy it for me!! ALSO, I don't know when and where any of these bands are playing down there, but thats not my fucking job! If you are down there figure it out for yourself ding dong!
 Shout out to Patty & Jake, my niggas from the River City Rebels. Oh and E.B. my brother, he down there to.
Love From Above,
Famous

Thursday, March 13, 2008

1up

The most effective suicide technique is no longer pills, a gun, or jumping off a bridge... all you have to do is walk up to a guy with a 9/11 tattoo and say, "Nice tattoo, Islam is a beautiful tradition FAGGOT!" Watch how hard and how fast you get MARTYRED.

FUCKING CORNY ASS BBM ICONS!!!


I don't know who invented these things or who's the dickhead that put everyone on, but THE NEW CORNY ASS ICONS ON YOUR BBM ARE SOFT!!!! I understand that people want to keep up with the jones' and make things look cool, but I honestly feel that people are just playing themselves! Maybe i'm angry cause no one has sent them to me. Maybe i'm upset because someone did send them to me and I couldn't figure out how the fuck to work it. But regardless it's mad corny to have 7 fucking lightening bolts by your name or a black heart. So people step your games up and be original. There's nothing wrong with the ol' thumbs up or sick face....
Keep it PHunky....Love From Above,
Juanito Famoso

9/11 What!

I have brought this up several times in casual conversation and received odd looks and piercing stares of disapproval. It's the kind of topic that when broached at a family dinner you may or may not be asked to go finish your meal in the kitchen. But hey, the kitchen is my favorite room in the house - so fuck it.

I'm just gonna put it out there and maybe i'm crazy, but marinate on this - 9/11 tattoos are the RAWEST THING since....some young italian man stumbled upon the San Pellegrino Spring in Milan Italy and decided to put it in a green bottle and sell it for $12 in restaurants. Where was i? oh yeah...the tattoos


Nothing says i am a bad ass big dick slinging motherfucking BORN IN THE USA AMERICAN BADASS MOTHER FUCKER than a tattoo of two burning towers with a fucking BALD EAGLE (or angel) in between them and an american flag thrown in the MIX and maybe even the Statue of Liberty or the declaration of independence make an appearance. Now I am specifically talking about 9/11 tattoos on the Back (anywhere else on the body is just weak)... Because no other part of your body provides a large enough canvas for this statement to be made...and it is a fucking statement let me tell you....unless you got it on your CHEST which would be so next level that it cannot even be calculated. I mean i don't have the balls to get one and I will forever be a pussy because of it.

Just think about it. Who would fuck with you? no one...ever. You go to a baseball game at say Yankee stadium and take your shirt off...5 rows of seats will clear out and people will bow to you. If you got hammered at a bar and took off your shirt...free drinks for the rest of the night...free blowjobs...i mean THE WORKS. So when you are deciding what your next ink is going to be....remember this post.

BikiniBook

Someone needs to come out with an application for facebook whereby you can tag photos as "bikini photos" on girls' pages. That way, when you go to a babe's photo page there'd be three sections: "Tagged by Samantha," "Tagged by Others," and "Bikini Photos," so you wouldn't have to look through all of "New Years in Telluride with the Family" or "Junior Year Mixer" before you got to what you really wanted, "Spring Break in Puerto Vallarta."  

Who The Fuck Cares

QUESTION: WHAT DO YOU CALL A SMART BLONDE?

ANSWER: A GOLDEN RETREIVER

UNCLE HENRY a.k.a. CAPTAIN PUTZ FACE

So this is Henry Lihn aka Hank aka The Rapist aka Uncle Putz Face!!! He just came to our lair, a.k.a. the club a.k.a. The table in the corner  a.k.a. 5J, and has sat here stinking up our airwaves. He tried to jerk off on my couch and when we said he couldn't watch the Mighty Ducks, he proceeded to take his shirt off and try to compete in a push up competition, PAUSE...Yes HOMO.

So pretty much you might have seen this creep in the club or on the slide in Central Park trying to buy your kid sister a snow cone. All we're saying here is be careful of this guy, he is a low life hustler and has a filthy mouth!

If you cant trust me you cant TRUST US!!!

Love From Above,

Professor Famous

Template Change!

Exciting news here at My Friend's Got A Table. We've enabled a new template, "Harbor." It's a nautical motif; one can almost hear the seagulls cawing. Keep it salty, dog.

Testing...

I'm trying to chief this meatzza and watch Stuart Little but Jonny and Hank are arguing because Hank didn't bring boom mikes, lavoliers, or half-cantaloupes with cottage cheese to the studio, aka my living room. 

WELCOME ALL



HELLO,
MY NAME IS JONNY FAMOUS. I LOVE TO TALK SHIT AND TELL JOKES. THIS BLOG WAS CREATED BECAUSE A LOT OF MY FRIENDS HAVE BEEN ENCOURAGING ME TO BEGIN SOMETHING OF THIS NATURE, SO I AM STARTING THIS WITH MY ROOM MATE "MATTY MIDNIGHT" A.K.A. "NO SLEEP TIL 5J"  AND OTHER FRIENDS, WHO I THINK ARE VERY FUNNY AND WITTY. I HOPE YOU ALL COME BACK AND TELL YOUR MOMS ABOUT THIS BLOG. AND IF WE OFFEND YOU, GO FUCK YOURSELVES, ITS A BLOG NOT CHURCH. SO I HOPE YOU ENJOY, AND THERE WILL BE MORE TO COME SHORTLY. 

LOVE FROM ABOVE,

JONNY
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